Not A Number, Not A Consumer

This weekend I went into the OfficeMax here in Denton to purchase some blank CD-Rs and some jewel cases. Normally I wouldn’t buy those items there, but it was Saturday afternoon and I decided to skip the joy that is Wal-Mart at that time of day on the weekend. The sales clerk asked me if the purchase was for business or personal use and for my ZIP code. Maybe I was tired, having just come back from fighting the crowds in Lewisville. Whatever it was, these questions pushed me past my limit. I asked her why she needed this info and she said it was for a survey. I told her that I wasn’t going to participate.

Update 10/17/02:I've had two snarky, smart-ass comments about this now from people who for some reason are offended that I wouldn't give up my ZIP code. I want to make it clear that the ZIP code is not the real issue here. It just happened to be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. My real problem is with surveys and demands for my personally identifying information by retailers. Further comments about ZIP codes will be ignored.

With that I’ve decided that I’ve finally had enough. I will no longer be treated as a consumer, as a number, as some member of a demographic. I’ve had enough of pushy marketing. Bitching about the problem does nothing other than generate hot air so I’ve decided to take action.

Here is my new customer credo.

• I am not a consumer. I am not some automata that will respond to certain input by emitting payment and consuming products. I am not a yawning maw of rapacious need to be filled by consumption of products. I am a customer with unique requirements and desires and I demand to be treated as such. I am resistant to standard marketing techniques and I recognize when they’re being applied to me. These techniques will guarantee that I do not return to your place of business ever again.
• I will no longer be surveyed and I will not give out my personally identifying information unless there is a valid reason to do so, like obtaining some kind of service or having something delivered. I will not assist you in gathering information about me that will be used to generate more marketing. I’m fed up with spam, with junk mail, and with obnoxious telemarketers. If I’m at your store purchasing something be glad that I’ve chosen to spend my money there. If you make the check-out process too difficult by demanding that I answer survey questions or give you personal information to build a profile on me, I may go somewhere else next time. If you can’t complete the check-out process without this information, I will cancel the sale and go elsewhere.
• I will not do business with any store that demands or uses a loyalty card, preferred member card, or other customer tracking scheme. These things don’t actually save me money, but they give you valuable information about my buying habits. I refuse to pay more and get less in return.
• My home telephone belongs to me and is used for my personal business. I do not want nor will I accept any form of telemarketing or solicitation (no matter how worthy the cause). I will not do business with any company that calls me on the phone and I will not donate to any charity that does so, regardless of our past relationship. Because of the abuses by telemarketers, I will no longer give out my phone number to anyone I don’t know personally. If you call me with a computerized recording or call me with an automated outcalling system that asks me to “please wait”, I will ridicule your company and product and recommend that all of my friends avoid you (go to hell, Dish Network—I’m glad you didn’t get the chance to screw up DirecTV).
• My email address is for use as I see fit. I will not do business with anyone who sends me unsolicited email. Ever! Opt-out is not a viable option. Remember that from your end there is only one of you and it is easy for you to remove me from your records. From my end there are thousands of you, making a logistical nightmare for me to get myself off of all those lists. Further, unscrupulous emailers have made it impossible for me to trust that you will actually remove me from your list. Many times responding to spam simply guarantees that I will get more. I will not give you my email address unless it is required for an online business transaction. If I do give you my email address, that does not give you permission to send me advertisements or other “specials.” Further, opting into a certain kind of mailing does not give you permission to sell this list for other purposes.
• Sending me a fake bill for a magazine in the hopes that I will pay it and subscribe to the magazine is fraud. I will not buy your magazine and I will not forget that you did this. Your magazine (and anything else published by your company) is now dead to me.
• I don’t want your “super special” 90 day free introductory offer. I know you’re hoping I’ll forget about it in 90 days so you can charge my credit card. I’m not stupid and being subjected to this kind of offer insults my intelligence. If your product was that great and I actually needed it I’d buy it regardless of the introductory offer.
• I am not going to buy any more extended warranties or maintenance agreements after being lied to by salespeople about what is covered (Sears) (I know, caveat emptor, they got me on this one). But I may lie to you and say that I am so that you won’t lie to me that you’re out of stock on what I came to purchase (Best Buy) (unless there’s another supplier nearby).
• I will no longer put up with surly sales clerks and smart-ass PFY’s (Circuit City). If you can’t motivate your sales staff to have a minimum of respect for the customer then I can’t be bothered to shop there.

To sum it all up: If a business treats me with respect and as if I have some intelligence, I will come back. If a business treats me as a consumer or as a market demographic, I won’t be back.

Posted by Aubrey at October 14, 2002 10:03 AM