Mrs. du Toit wrote a post today that struck a nerve with me.  I have a special loathing deep within for telemarketers.  They’re a plague of bottom feeding scum as far as I’m concerned.  Is that harsh?  Not really.  They invade my space and take up my time for their intrusive scripted crap. 

My phone exists for my personal use.  I give out the number to people whom I wish to have contact me.  It is not an open invitation for any dumbass with an autodialer to try to part me from my money. 

I have made it a policy that I will not buy anything from a telemarketer and I will not give money to any charity that calls me on the phone.  I make no exceptions, because I’ve learned from hard experience that once you do you’ll end up on a list of suckers which they pass around among the different groups.  Because of this unscrupulous behavior I don’t even accept calls from the NRA or other groups I’m sympathetic to.

But the lowest of these scum are the ones who call you up with prerecorded marketing messages.  It’s the telephonic equivalent of a drive-by.  And one company stands out for me as the worst offender and has earned my eternal enmity—Dish Network.  They called me with a prerecorded message that I could not hang up on (despite repeated attempts).  After trying to hang up and being unable to, I finally listened to what they were saying.  After a bit they gave me the option to “press 1 for more information about this offer” or to “press 2 to end this call.”  I pressed ‘2’ only to be informed that this “was an invalid option.”  At this point I hit ‘2’ about 35 more times, which kind of jammed the system for a while.  I was spitting mad by this point so I hit ‘1’ so I could chew on a person.  Unfortunately, these bastards must have anticipated this reaction, because it dumped me into a voicemail box where I had to leave a message.  I left them a very nasty message and I included my name and number and told them never to call me again or I’d get the FCC involved, since I was under the impression that the use of recorded messages is illegal.

Calls using artificial or prerecorded voice messages – including those that do not use autodialers – may not be made to residential telephone numbers except in the following cases:

• emergency calls needed to ensure the consumer’s health and safety;
• calls for which you have given prior consent;
• non-commercial calls;
• calls which don’t include any unsolicited advertisements;
• calls by, or on behalf of, tax-exempt non-profit organizations; or
• calls from entities with which you have an established business relationship.

Calls using autodialers or artificial or prerecorded voice messages may be placed to businesses, although the FCC’s rules prohibit the use of autodialers in a way that ties up two or more lines of a multi-line business at the same time.

If an autodialer is used to deliver an artificial or prerecorded voice message, that message must state, at the beginning, the identity of the business, individual, or other entity initiating the call. During or after the message, the caller must give the telephone number (other than that of the autodialer or prerecorded message player that placed the call) or address of the business, other entity, or individual that made the call. It may not be a 900 number or any other number for which charges exceed local or long distance transmission charges.

Autodialers that deliver a recorded message must release the called party’s telephone line within 5 seconds of the time that the calling system receives notification that the called party’s line has hung up. In certain areas there might be a delay before you can get a dial tone again. Your local telephone company can tell you if there is a delay in your area.

Since then, I’ve used caller ID to screen all of my calls.  If I don’t recognize the name or number I will not answer.  I’m also on the Texas do-not-call list which has helped quite a bit.  But Dish Network can still kiss my ass.  I’ll never do business with them.  Ever.  (Which is why I’m glad their deal to buy DirecTV failed.)